All Posts By:

Nancy

  • Letting the Little Guy Lead

    Today we renewed our Zoo Membership at our local Zoo. I brought my younger son with me for some quality one on one time with him. Since it was just us two I decided to leave the stroller in the car and let him walk. Part of me was nervous and thinking about all of the possible situations he could get himself into. The other part of me argued that eventually he was going to be too big to be in the stroller and to take advantage of it being just us two. So off we went without the stroller.

    The renewal part was pretty quick since none of the information had changed and we were in the zoo within minutes. I took him by the hand and asked him which way he wanted to go. We started with the sea lions, unfortunately they were not very active but that didn’t matter to him. He took me by the hand and lead me towards the elephants. Then he heard the noise I typically dread… the sound of the little kiddie train. I could see the excitement all over his face!! Typically we do not do the train or carousel rides because they cost extra and since I still have to go on with him I’d have to pay for myself too. However our membership comes with 10 free train or carousel tickets so I took him. He got on and off without a fuss, to say I was proud is an understatement. We then continued around the zoo checking out different animals sometimes spending a long time looking at them and talking about them and others just long enough for a brief hello. He was fascinated by the hyena laying near the viewing window and we spent quite a bit of time just watching him lay in the sun. He asked questions and wanted me to read the signs about the animals.

    Today I saw a different child. My typically feisty guy was so mellow. He didn’t throw any tantrums while we were there and when it was time to go he didn’t argue. He stayed near me the whole time, even when I let him wander. He asked me if he could do things like the train or playground area without just running ahead to do what he wanted. I am incredibly proud of this little guy. It makes me think that I possibly do not give him enough credit for what he is really capable of doing. He had a great learning experience and I got to really enjoy my time with him.

    I think we need these moments to help redirect our attention. Yes, it would have been much easier to push him around in the stroller. However we would have missed out on a lot of the great conversations we had as well as all the wonderful educational opportunities the zoo offers. By allowing him to be free and explore he was actually choosing to learn and completely engaged! Easier doesn’t always equal better. I feel much more confident in my child today and much more confident as a mom!

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  • I lost it… then I made cupcakes

    Yesterday I had what was not one of my proudest parenting moments. I am working so hard on not losing my cool and not letting stress get the best of me or my attitude. However I am human and these things happen and happen it did. This week we are on vacation from work and daycare. Yesterday was the first official day off and I was hoping to make the best of it by accomplishing tasks around the house as well as getting some much needed fun time in with my boys.

    After a great morning playing outside in the pool, it was time to  actually get some work done around the house. So I rounded up the troops and gave them their assignments. We were supposed to be working together to get things cleaned up. I would be helping each child with their individual tasks while also doing my own tasks in the room. I must have reminded my older son 4 times that he was in charge of finding and picking up dirty laundry and any dishes he might find. I even went so far as to pile some on the table for him! Well that fifth time or so I snapped. I yelled at him telling him what to do and pointing to everything I wanted him to pick up. I just kept yelling! After he finally finished I sent him to his room until dinner mostly because I still needed to calm down.

    During dinner he said to me “I’m sorry I made you upset and scream.” It literally killed me. I’ve been working so hard on setting up clear cut expectations and consequences so that I don’t have to be “always screaming” and here I was right back at square one. It was my own fault too, I bucked my own system. Instead of sending him to his room after the third reminder I let myself get to a fourth and fifth. I let myself get flustered and upset because he wasn’t doing what we talked about was his responsibility. So after dinner I had an honest conversation with him on how we both messed up. His actions lead to my yelling, but my own inaction also took part. I asked him how he felt when I yelled and also how he thinks I feel when I yell. He responded by saying he didn’t like it but he also didn’t think I liked yelling either. I don’t like yelling I don’t like losing my cool but I also hate being ignored.

    So after discussing what we both could do next time the situation occurs I decided that we were not going to end the first night of our “vacation” on a bad note. So at 8:00pm I decided to make cupcakes with the kids. Of course all I had in the house was white cake mix and white frosting so we decided to throw sprinkles and food coloring in the mix and the frosting. I let each of the boys pick what color frosting to make. We even made some fun tie-dye looking cupcakes by throwing a drop of food coloring into the cupcake batter after it was poured into the cups and swirled it with a toothpick. At the end of the day it’s about making memories with my kids and being able to talk about what went wrong and move on. We used the days mishap as a teachable moment and will try again tomorrow.

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  • Nights Like This

    I love nights like tonight. It’s 68 degrees with a gentle breeze that is slightly cool. I have all of the windows open right now just enjoying the fresh air. Nights like tonight I miss having a front porch to go out and relax on. I feel like I used to do all of my best thinking from there.

    I used to bring my coffee out in the morning and just sit with my older son for hours when he was a baby. We also spent many nights out there too. My favorite thing was sitting on the porch swing with him wrapped up in my arms on rainy days. We would just listen to the sounds of the rain and enjoy the fresh clean air. We moved from that place when he was one year old. Now we live upstairs and there is no porch at all on this place, however we traded in the porch for an amazing back yard.

    Right now I am sitting next on the couch next to a window that looks into part of the back yard. The breeze is blowing, and I can just feel my body relaxing as I sip my decaf (not trying to be up all night) coffee. Looking out at our swing set I realize I might not have that front porch anymore but I have been able to make so many great memories on just that swing set alone! I remember the day my downstairs neighbor/adopted brother brought it home. He had gotten it for free from a friend’s neighbor as long as he took it down himself. Well he did and brought it home. The kids don’t know or care that it’s used or that we got it for free. They LOVE it!!! We really are so lucky to have it.

    This cool clean air really is great for cleansing my mind and soul. As I sit here alone I am really able to just be. Looking out the window at the swing set also reminds me that I am doing something right. I am giving my children great memories. Memories that don’t involve the TV or video game systems. It may feel like we are stuck inside a lot but the truth of the matter is we do spend a lot of time outside. We do get a lot of family time together doing something other than watching TV. I have watched both of my boys learn how to climb the ladder to get to the slide, I’ve watched them transition from the baby swing to the regular one. However the younger guy still likes his baby swing too. I’ve watched my boys play with their cousins and use their imaginations to play games for hours on that swing set. There has been so much time spent loving that old swing set and I hope we can continue to enjoy it for years to come.

    Nights like tonight remind me that I am doing my best as a parent. It helps me feel like I am not failing them. It also reminds me of how blessed I truly am. I could sit here for hours tonight while my children sleep and just be at peace. This is medicine for your soul.

    Morning view of our swing set from my window

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